"Adult Lifestyle An Individual Term?"
What is the definition of an adult lifestyle?
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Have you ever thought about which lifestyle may be of interest to you?
Have you ever read one forum, and while some aspects fit into your criteria, other elements simply do not? How do you go about finding the lifestyle that could be best suited for you? Where do you look when you have only heard of one or two different forms of adult lifestyles?
With the web at our fingertips, it’s easy to Google a term when referencing adult lifestyles. What may be hard is finding the appropriate blogs, posts, or sites that offer adult lifestyles under one all-encompassing “umbrella term.” The main reason for this is many lifestyle choices are still underground and just coming into public light now.
Older generations had the idea that only man and woman could marry. People believed that same-sex marriage was morally wrong, BDSM/Kink was the depths of depravity within our social structure. Marriage meant being faithful until death. Since the general public has blacklisted so many lifestyles, the lifestyles in question naturally fractioned off into their sectors. While there was a necessity at the time for such separations, these days, there are fewer reasons to continue scattering the life choices individuals make. However, because they have become fractions of alternative lifestyles, they now struggle with how to recombine their sexual and relationship choices with other lifestyles. Resulting in much misinformation, regarding what each lifestyle entails to the general public as well as towards other branches of lifestyles. Therefore, coming together as one large gathering of open-minded people continues to be lagging behind the times.
When I entered the swingers’ lifestyle at a young age, it was fun, but there was always something lacking from my experiences. I knew it was not for me, but was unable to find anything that suited where I wanted to be in my sexual and personal life. I had only ever heard the term “swingers,” so where do you go when that's not the correct fit? I, like many, went online and began to search. My results at the time were fruitless due to lack of other lifestyle information online. Over times I found I started to hear terms such as Poly, BDSM, Kink, Ethical non-monogamy, Ethical monogamy and a series of other terms.
The problem was, I was still learning what each term meant. What crossed over from which lifestyle into another and understanding if they could combine or need to be kept separate. With multiple tabs open, links, leading to more links, all the while sending me to new sites with the same information on a specific lifestyle choice, it was confusing.
I've learned that when the term “lifestyle” is used, people often take it to mean that the individual is talking about swinging. Associating them together makes sense, as 'swingers' were made more publically known years before other LS began to come to light. However, the truth is, whether you are a 'Vanilla Couple,' Swingers, Poly, BDSM, or whatever the lifestyle is you choose, each individual picks a lifestyle which suits them. Therefore, the term "lifestyle" should be all-encompassing to include any lifestyle choices individuals and couples decide.
There is quite a lot of mixing and matching, one LS choice into another or even multiple aspects of various LS into one that suits the people/person best utilizing it in their life. Slowly there are communities like Lifestyleclub.ca who offer the chance for many lifestyles to come together socially where they can learn each other’s likes and dislikes; ask questions to rid themselves of stereotypes they've heard about misunderstood lifestyles, and explore how incorporating many lifestyles together may benefit people.
Joining communities which have stayed separate for years would be a struggle, but over time it may happen. The first step is for more experienced people to start intellectually learning and writing about what makes each lifestyle different, which aspects may cross over, and which elements may not. You may not have to agree with all aspects as you learn about each LS choice available, but you have the opportunity not to judge them, as they will not judge you on your chosen style.