How to suggest trying something new

We've all seen something in a movie and thought, "I want to try that." 

Suffice to say, we haven't all tried that. 

It can be hard to tell your partner you want to try something new or different. Depending on what it is, you could feel embarrassed. You might worry they could interpret it as you being unhappy with your current sex life. Odds are that you have nothing to worry about, but here are a few ideas that will hopefully make that awkward conversation a little less stressful

1. Test the waters

If you saw something on TV, or in a movie that piqued your interest, watch it with them and see how they react. It's possible that they'll be just as into it! If you read it in a book or on a website, leave it open to that page. This could lead to them either opening up a dialogue, or even initiating the thing you want to try. 

2. Start small

If your fantasy is to spend the weekend chained up in the laundry room but you've never so much as used a blindfold, maybe don't lead with that. This is both for your partner's comfort and your own. 

It might seem like if you're going to gamble, you might as well go all in, but fantasy and reality don't always intersect the way we might hope. There can be a pretty big divide between what sounds/looks good and what actually feels good. Start incorporating elements of your fantasy slowly to gauge both your partner's comfort level and your own. There are plenty of steps between lingerie and a leather catsuit and for all you know, you might want to stop at corset. 

3. Use your earlier encounters together as inspiration

Tell your partner how much you enjoyed a specific sexual experience with them. It may not be exactly the fantasy you have in mind, but reminding them how much fun it can be to try new things may be all the inspiration they need to spice things up. It will also remind them that you don't just fantasize, you fantasize about them. Feeling desired is a confidence boost, and confident people are always more open to trying new things.

4. Be as willing to give as you are to get

If you want your partner to be open-minded about your fantasies, you need to be open-minded about theirs. As long as what they're into is both safe and legal, be willing to experiment. You never know if you like something until you try it! Again, looks can be deceiving. Sometimes things that sound weird can feel really good. No one thought peanut butter and chocolate went together until they gave it a shot.

5. Trust them

Your partner isn't psychic. They can't fulfill a need or want that they don't know exists. Any potential weirdness they could feel initially will dissipate, and you'll be left with the relief of not having to carry around a secret. Just remember that they're with you because they want to be, and no one wants the person they love to feel sexually unfulfilled. In the end, telling them can only make your relationship stronger.

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