Thud or sting? 

You may think that all pain is pain, but “Thud or sting?” is the “Coke or Pepsi” of our time. Figuring out whether you prefer a thud or sting is the key to enjoying impact play. 

A thud is more of a bass, vibrational feeling, like listening to Barry White, while a sting is more like listening to the sharp staccato strings in Psycho. Both sexually appealing in their own way, but neither are for everyone! Another good comparison is falling directly on your ass vs getting snapped with an elastic. A thud won’t hurt as much up front, but you'll feel it the next day. A sting is a sharp burst of pain that dissipates quickly. The quicker the hit, the greater the sting.

Different toys will produce different sensations, but a good rule of thumb is that the thinner the implement, the sharper the sting, and vice versa. Synthetic materials also typically sting more than wood or leather. 

Start slow!

This is important for all the safety reasons mentioned in previous posts, but for the purpose of this guide: start slow for pleasure reasons! Impact play can be exhausting. Imagine if baseball was just swinging a bat for several hours. You don't want to get hand cramps before you get to the second butt cheek. Start slow and build up your momentum!


Just because you don't have a yacht, it doesn't mean you can't live out your Tommy Lee fantasies in the bedroom. Pick up a toy and unleash your inner drummer!

While a steady, building rhythm can be extremely enjoyable (with some floggers, it can feel like a massage!), going off rhythm can surprise your partner in a really fun way. Get them comfortable, and then switch it up. 

The lighter the implement, the easier it will be to stick to a beat.. Once you're comfortable with a toy, consider turning on a song and trying to match the beat. If the BeeGee's Staying Alive works for CPR, I have to assume it would work for spanking. 

Or if you don't like music in the bedroom, just watch tennis and hit whenever they do. I'm not your boss, do whatever feels good. 


How and where your implement lands is just as, if not more important than when they land. Floggers are typically used by flicking the wrist in a figure eight formation, although you can use them up and down depending on their length. 

Other implements are a little more straight forward, in that the only direction they can go is straight forward. But that doesn't mean patterns aren't still important! Too much impact on one area can lead to a loss in sensation (known as “leather butt”), which is the opposite of what anyone wants when engaging in impact play. Alternating between the butt and the backs of thighs is a fun, easy way to add some variation to your standard over the knee spanking. Shoulders to butt are fun for whipping and flogging. 

Experiment with butts

Nervous about hurting your partner? First time using your new toy on a person (since we established previously that you practiced on your mattress first)? Aim for the butt. 

Your butt has the highest concentration of fat and muscle in your body. It's the only part of you aside from your feet (which have lots of fragile bones and tendons) that regularly holds your whole body weight. It doesn't provide easy access to internal organs or bones. The force of sitting likely generates more pressure than your hand is capable of providing. Even most non-kinky people enjoy a strategically timed ass-slap in bed. 

So, as long as you're safe and it's consentual, feel free to slap/smack/whip/crop/flog/cane/paddle that butt to your heart’s content.


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